Thursday, May 21, 2009

Eyes wide crazy

I love what Dick Cheney's done with September 11. He's come a long way. Lemme see if I've got it right: President Obama will be to blame for a future terrorist attack if he doesn't follow the Cheney playbook religiously. But before anyone even thought to blame the administration that was in power ON September 11, 2001, Cheney's minions found a way to blame that attack on the PREVIOUS president. So Cheney and his li'l buddy deserve credit for every day there wasn't another attack, but no blame for the day there was an attack, and President Obama would deserve blame if there were an attack tomorrow, even though he's been president for fewer days than Cheney was president as of September 11.

I say a second attack would be Cheney's fault, and not for all the logical reasons related to how the previous administration alienated fundamentalists even further. No, I bet somewhere out there, a terrorist is about to go rogue just to shut Cheney up. I'm American, and I can barely stand to hear him speak.

Priorities, people

Twit:
Pleased Congress passed bill permitting loaded firearms in nat’l parks & wildlife refuges, as subject to state law.

Yes, I think we're all pleased that the House and Senate took time out of their day to worry about this issue. My favorite part:
The provision was included in legislation placing new restrictions on the way in which credit card companies deal with consumers.

I love my country.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

This probably should have stayed a draft

If you read many sites/blogs with comments, you've probably been exposed to the 'first' phenomenon. There are commenters on your more popular sites (and by more popular, I mean more popular than this one, anyway) who take great joy in leaving a comment that notes that they are the first to comment. Often, that's all the comment says. And often, the comment is not in fact the first comment. There were no comments when the commenter started writing 'First!' but somehow, in what little time it took to click OK or whatever, someone else with something more substantial to say snuck in there.

Some of us readers find this phenomenon infuriating. Over at the Onion A/V Club site, not only is a not-first first (or 'firstie') mocked, there's a meme going on where anyone who succeeds or fails at firsties is wished a combination of cancer and AIDS. One commenter there started his own parodic blog devoted solely to his travails as a firstie. Point being, unlike everything else that makes me crazy beyond all reasonable proportion, I'm not alone on this one. But I was just wondering, after seeing a firstie on Joe Posnanski's awesome-beyond-all-reasonable-expectations blog, why. Why do I hate firsties so much?

Then I figured it out. Firsties are like climbing a mountain (in my case, a small mountain) and reaching the summit and as you prepare to take in the view, you see some jackass has written 'First!' with white spray paint on a rock. It's not clear what benefit the jerkweed got from doing it, but everyone else who utilizes the site (or mountain) is going to be at least a little bit annoyed by it.

Now I can move on to more pressing issues, like why the people in front of me walk so slowly during rush hour. I mean, it's called 'rush hour,' you know?

Friday, May 15, 2009

What does that even mean?

Late on this one, but too good to pass up. The president said last week that he'd like Justice Souter's replacement on the U.S. Supreme Court to be capable of empathy. Michael Steele, the RNC chairman and my first choice to entertain at my kid's birthday party, went on the radio to respond:
Crazy nonsense empathetic! I'll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind. Craziness!

Now, lest you accuse me of taking the quote out of context, allow me to assure you that I would LOVE to see the rest of what he said. I am seriously considering quitting my job and following this guy around, because I think he's just getting to the really good stuff now, and I think it's gonna bring all the thrill of a volcanic eruption without any of that pesky ash.

But -- and maybe this is because I'm taking a break from rewatching The Wire and am in the middle of season 1 of The West Wing -- doesn't talking to the public about the president like that make Steele what my dad would call "a total dink"? I don't know, probably there were Democrat politicians and officials who said worse about the last president; I don't want to make it sound like that party's gonna wear white at its wedding. But "Empathize right on [President Obama's] behind"? Is that really necessary? Can we have Leo go talk to him?

The only other excerpt from the linked story: "I don't need some justice up there feeling bad for my opponent because of their life circumstances or their condition and shortchanging me and my opportunity to get fair treatment under the law."

If that doesn't sum up the Republican party right now ... well, wait five minutes, and someone else will, in even more hysterical fashion.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

From the twit

Yet ANOTHER ethics complaint filed & dismissed! Unfair to AKns that state dollars are wasted dealing w/these malicious complaints...

Agreed. Of course, if you'd just admit to all the crap you did, people could stop charging you with stuff you didn't. And chin up: So many of those state dollars come from other states' pockets, it's like free entertainment.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Sourcing

I mean, she's a journalism major, right? At like, five different colleges? That's plenty of exposure to the fundamentals. So why would she use her tweet ...
Outraged Obama's budget includes major cuts to missile defense programs, when N. Korea refuses to abide by UN regs.http://tinyurl.com/c56xyh

... to link to a CNN story that concludes by noting that she wants money for it? Also, when she's all crazed, marking up which parts of the stimulus package she's willing to accept and which parts she isn't and which parts don't, technically, exist but, in her expert opinion, should, do her advisors just glance at each other uncomfortably, like Hitler's in his last days in the bunker, or are they egging her on like Tiny Elvis's coterie?
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that we continue to develop and perfect the global missile defense network. Alaska’s strategic location and the system in place here have proven invaluable in defending the nation….

Is that like when Bush supporters point out that we haven't been attacked since Sept. 11, all smug as if they just proved something? If someone can point me to evidence as to precisely how Alaska's proven 'invaluable,' that'd be great. I'm not saying we wouldn't retaliate if North Korea sent missiles at Alaska, but if Ol' Crazysides keeps yapping, wouldn't we at least want to think about it?

Also, I'm not saying the 'cuts' are non-existent, like when Obama was panned by the right a month ago for 'cutting' defense when, in fact, he just wasn't increasing the defense budget as much as the 'nuts would have liked. I'm merely saying that when I google 'obama cuts missile defense,' the only links I get are right-wing crazy sites and the CNN piece. Which is ironic, since when it comes to Alaska, Sarah Palin is a socialist.

Oh, wait, I found the press release, and I think the CNN story left out the best part:
Today, the Defense Department said it wants to study the merits of ground based missile defense before it commits to an expansion at Fort Greely. This is absolutely the wrong message to send to our adversaries.

This is art, people. Are you even appreciating it while she's still alive? Maybe we can divert the missile money to the National Endowment for the Arts so she can get the showing she deserves. Although anyone in North Korea doing a Web search for 'obama cuts missile defense' is already getting 'absolutely the wrong message.'

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Better use a lifeline

Straight from the twit's mouth:
Due to intense spring floods, I've declared a disaster for Interior AK; this opens doors for govt agencies to better assist AKns in need.

Are you sure? I bet there're all sorts of strings attached. I bet the damn government's gonna want you to use that disaster money to, oh, I don't know, handle the disaster. YOU GONNA LET THEM TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR MONEY?!?!?

Who's got a link to one of those maps that shows how Alaska and other 'red states' get the most federal aid per tax dollar, and the blue states pay for it?

Another Beatles scoop

Our second this week! Man, if people were actually reading this blog, we'd be famous.

Anyway, the internet is bemoaning the news that guitar controllers for the Beatles' Rock Band entry will be sold separately, reportedly at $99 each for John's Rickenbacker and George's Gretsch. They believe the $250 entitles them to more than just the game, Paul's Hofner, Ringo's drums, and a mic stand.

But if you go to the game's home page ... I don't know. That looks like John's Epiphone Casino to me. Wouldn't that mean it's in the bundle as well?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Straight from the twit's mouth

I stand by grave concerns fed pkge prohibits opportunities for AK to develop, eg. require AK to adopt new energy codes to accept more funds.

Dear Sarah

Good to hear from you. I'm really enjoying this new phase of your madness. Before, we were at the mercy of the media to hear more crazy. It was very frustrating, relying on the media! Although hey, who'm I tellin', right?

Yeah, so the rest of the people who aren't crazy asked me to try to explain this to you. I said "Hey! I don't speak Stupid!" But they insisted I was the man for the job. So here we are.

OK. I understand your grave concerns, and your standing by them. I think we should all stand by our grave concerns. If we do not stand by our grave concerns, well, where do we stand? Am I right? I honestly can't tell. Anyway, from what I can make out, you are still having trouble with this whole federal stimulus thing. It's funny, I remember some Southern governor going through this. He wanted to do the same thing you're trying to do now: accept only part of the stimulus allotment for your state. I remember the president saying it wasn't going to work that way. It was in the papers and everything. I guess you no longer read "Oh, all of them." Because now you're pulling the same stunt, saying you don't want the funds for the state energy office.

Oh, sorry about linking to the Times there. Don't worry, looks like they won't be around much longer anyway. The media, huh? Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em:



Yeah, so anyway, you're saying you want the stimulus money you want, but not the stimulus money you don't want. Or something. No, wait, I know. You're saying you don't want the energy money because you don't want to strengthen your building code, because ... uh, because it's not in Alaskans' common or individual interests of ... um ...

You know what? Fuck it. I got no idea what your problem is. You make no sense. I've been trying to treat you with kid gloves here, like a mentally disturbed person who somehow got hold of a gun (get it?), but I gotta come clean here, you're all over the road. You're a freak, and most of what you do is geared to framing yourself as some sort of right-wing hero. I mean, the Democrat president wants to give you money, for fuck's sake, and you're turning it down. Face it: You're a contrarian wack job.

But lemme try to explain this to you: You can take the money. You can turn down the money. You cannot take some of the money. You should not take the money and bitch about it. That'd just be bad form. But what you absolutely cannot do without looking like a complete idiot is take the money and bitch about the giver of the money mandating that you adopt a new building code if you want even MORE money!!!! I mean, you might've heard, there's a recession or something going on. People are hurting. Remember how mad they were about their money going toward banker bonuses? It was kind of a big deal, here in America. They don't really want to hear about your not liking what few conditions are attached to your taking their money.

Also, they want to know if you've returned the clothes yet.

Monday, May 4, 2009

And I don't think it's meant as a euphemism for 'condom,' either

On twitter, our girl announces an initiative that she supports "... to protect (Alaska's) daughters ... ." The link she offers is to an Anchorage Daily News story about the initiative, which "make[s] it illegal for teenagers to get an abortion without telling their parents."

I've long come to terms with the fact that Sarah Palin and I speak very different breeds of English, and so I ask the following question completely devoid of snark: From who or what would this initiative 'protect' Alaskan teen girls?

Beatles, for sale (again)

Haven't seen this anywhere. Just noticed that the remasters are up on amazon.com. I had been wondering where they'd be priced.

Prices:

Please Please Me: $13.99
With the Beatles: $14.99
A Hard Day's Night: $13.99
For Sale: $13.99
Help!: $13.99
Rubber Soul: $13.99
Revolver: $13.99
Sgt. Pepper: $13.99
Magical Mystery Tour: $13.99
White Album: $19.99
Yellow Submarine: $14.99
Let It Be: $13.99
Abbey Road: $13.99
Past Masters (33 tracks): $22.99

Box sets don't seem to be listed.

Who has a guess as to why Yellow Submarine and With the Beatles are a buck extra?